What Mindset Taught Me — and Why I Tell This Story

I believe that we can change.

Not in a vague, motivational-poster kind of way, but in a practical, evidenced-based way. I’ve seen it in classrooms, in staffrooms, in coaching sessions —  and experienced it myself.

---

Early Messages That Stick

When I was in middle school (Year 9 in the UK), I dreaded public speaking. I wasn’t just nervous — I was in full-on avoidance mode. Presenting, performing, speaking in front of people? Absolutely not.

I remember one teacher, Mr Pritchit who was a kind and interesting teacher, but who had us read aloud in class — one paragraph at a time, going down the rows. I would spend the whole time practising my paragraph in my head, not listening to the actual content at all. And when it came to my turn, my voice would shake. I could feel my face flush.

For two years during my Spanish classes, if you got an answer wrong, you had to move one seat back. Imagine what that does to your confidence — let alone your ability to learn.

These early experiences solidified a belief: I’m incapable of speaking in groups or under pressure.

I Never Meant to Audition

One day (still in middle school) I auditioned for the school musical, Annie — completely randomly, just because I happened to be in the music room with my friends. To everyone’s surprise (especially mine), I got a part. That led to me being invited to join a community theatre group, where I was even given solos to perform.

It was summer holidays and I had missed a few rehearsals due to a family trip. I’d practised using a recording of the music that I would sing along to privately in my room. When it was time to go one stage the following week I was so nervous, I could barely breathe.

The pianist seemed to be playing faster than I had practised and I began to fall behind. My voice faltered. I caught glimpses of worried people in the audience. My mum and dad gave me forced smiles. That was the worst!

Somehow, I finished the song. Then I ran off stage and made a decision that stayed with me for years: That’s it. When will you learn? No more public speaking. I’m not cut out for this.

Me, believe it or not, just before it all went downhill.

Keeping My Distance 

Even when I became a teacher, that belief followed me. (Honestly, if I’d stopped to think about the fact that teaching is basically a kind of performance, I might have avoided it entirely.) Eventually, I got comfortable speaking to students — but I stayed well away from bigger groups, especially adults, especially groups of adult teachers! 

Once, I had to introduce the Christmas concert at my school. Just a short welcome — in front of 300 people. I was so nervous, I went to the bathroom and practised the speech in the mirror.

Later, when I considered applying for an assistant principal role, the headteacher told me they were looking for someone with “presence.” And the way he said it made it clear: You don’t have it.

And maybe he was right — at the time.

A Shift in Thinking

Around the same time, my friend, Nina Dibner, gave me Carol Dweck’s book on mindset — the idea that our abilities aren’t fixed, but can grow through effort, feedback and learning. 

I also began exploring Albert Bandura’s research into self-efficacy — the belief that you can influence your own success through effort and strategy. The work of David Yeager and Greg Walton showed me how deeply we’re shaped by other people’s expectations — even the subtle ones.

And then I started learning about the brain and how neural pathways strengthen through repeated use and how myelination speeds up and secures those pathways over time. In other words, the brain literally changes when we practise and stretch ourselves. 

The brain is constantly changing and is in fact adaptive, or ‘plastic’. The more often you do something, the stronger the pathway between neurons. Understanding how the brain works doesn’t necessarily tell what works best in the classroom (that’s more the role of cognitive psychology), but it does help to explain WHY repeated practice and effort make sense.

We’re not fixed. Not in our talents, our habits or our confidence. With practice, we can make progress. Even at my age! 

As a teacher, I knew I had to bring these ideas to my students and colleagues. And that meant I had to walk the talk and learn how to speak to larger audiences.

I took a class. I read books. Watched videos. Took notes.

I practised with my friend, John. (Thanks, John.)

I asked for feedback. I took feedback.

I rehearsed — a lot. Sometimes for hours, even for short talks.

Where I Am Now

Now, I speak in front of 50, 100, even 300+ people. Often without notes, but always prepared. And sometimes I’ll catch myself mid-talk and think: Is this really me?

These days, colleagues often give positive feedback after sessions. Some say I have "presence." I appreciate it; I worked for it. Recently, a participant in a session said, “Tricia brings a gentle humour to her public speaking that makes people want to listen to her.” Mr Pritchard would have been proud.

That growing confidence gave me the belief and evidence that I could step beyond the classroom to support other schools and teachers more widely.

---

So, How Do We Change?

1. First, believe that change is possible

It sounds simple, but it’s foundational. If we don’t believe we can improve, we won’t even try. 

When working with students: 

Stories: Tell them stories about you or people who struggled at first but got help and got better. Use ‘relatable’ examples as much as possible. High flying examples like famous entrepreneurs and elite athletes can seem too out of reach. 

Start small. Set them up for small successes with support and then back off when they are ready — like solving a problem together before trying one alone, or writing a paragraph with sentence starters before drafting independently.

Teach them about the brain. 

2. Then, figure out what you need to know and learn it.

You’ve got to do your research and spend time practising and getting feedback. 

When working with students: 

• Growth needs knowledge and skills. Students can’t practise what they don’t know. Effort without knowledge won’t lead to improvement — that’s why explicit teaching of content and skills is essential.

• Avoid empty praise like ‘good effort’. For a student with low self-efficacy, that can sound like ‘you’re not smart enough.’ Give specific and authentic praise.

3. Finally, reframe nerves as a sign you care

I still get nervous. Every single time. But nerves mean I care. They mean I’m switched on. With the right mindset, that energy becomes fuel.

When working with students: 

Explain that not all stress is bad for you.  Research by David Yeager and colleagues shows that when students view stress responses as the body's way of preparing for a challenge, rather than as signs of impending failure, they perform better and stay more motivated.

Don’t strive to be perfect; aim to make progress. 

Why This Matters

People often assume, “I’m just not cut out for this,” when they can’t do something at first. But hearing a concrete example — someone who struggled, learned the necessary skills and improved — can shift that belief. Sharing those stories, especially with students or members of your team, can help them re-evaluate what’s possible for themselves. So, what story could you share?

Thanks for reading.

I use the term ‘learning mindset’ to describe the blend of growth mindset, metacognition and self-regulation.

References: 

Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.

Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The Exercise of Control. W. H. Freeman.

Yeager, D. S., Lee, H. Y., Jamieson, J. P., Miu, A. S., & Walton, G. M. (2022). A synergistic mindsets intervention protects adolescents from stress. Nature, 607(7917), 512–518.